So I had another interview for what I once again envisioned as a dream opportunity. The bad news came quicker this time so the state of undecided emotion and limbo only lasted the rest of the day till the next morning. A short lived experience, but just like the shooting stars I serenade with my wishes of my dream job, the quality of an experience has a longer lasting effect than its quantity or duration.
I learned that when you are caught in a higher breeze of optimism, your perspective on the entire world does change. Once the interview was over and I strolled down the street with no immediate desire to rewind time or take that comment back, being closer to the possibility of getting a job let me focus less on the thoughts in the back of my mind, and more on the world around me.
Of course since then, the sky has been turned down notches in colour , food lost its sweetness and the aroma of a nice day brewing, is just not around. The contrasting differences got me thinking. What has changed?
Im making my decision on how optimistic to be based on my experience, and it turn it changes how I experience everything else. If this was under the control of anyone else, then surely the panel who wasn’t going to give me the job would not let me feel unnecessarily confident and pointlessly happy.
I guess the analogy is that we always have our lives under the magnify glass. I know personally I have a bad habit regarding the way I hold it. Always focused on the negative situation at hand, I miss the chance to notice many other wonderful things. The more relaxed I become, the further away I step and ease my focus, really opening my world up.
Also on the topic of magnify glasses, microscopes and the common caterpillar that is often observed with both instruments, is my reaction to the bad news. For those whose knowledge of caterpillars stops at the Hungry Caterpillar, the struggle of a caterpillar breaking from its cocoon is a vital experience that results in the required wing strength to fly as a butterfly. While I’m not counting on wings sprouting from my back anytime soon, I definitely feel the previous rejections and bumps in my road have been shaping me. I’m hardening up, not sure what or who I’ll emerge from this experience as, but I know I’ll still be as hungry as I am now.