5 years doesn’t fit into 60 minutes. But this morning, I tried.
I saw Graham, a psychologist, for a free one hour consultation. My plan was to explain all that was wrong in half that time, giving him the rest of it to tell me how to make things right. But anyone who has ever had one of these spill-it-all conversations – with a professional, close acquaintance, or total stranger – knows they’re no straight road.
Nearing my late twenties, I wasn’t sure where to start. I can’t remember exactly when the clouds started rolling in. I just know they’ve been following me around and raining down more frequently than usual.
Stumbling over several stumps of silence, I got out a ‘bit about myself’.
Then, thinking of this time as too precious, I took control of the conversational wheel, making a sharp turn towards the topic of my desire of certainty and my disgust of anxiety.
Graham was quick to point out – having volunteered in a developing country, and most recently moved states – my actions have a remarkably different tone to my words.
I lost at least 5 minutes to silence after that.
Before I knew it, he was explaining my options for moving forward: The costs, the rebates, his limited availability during the week.
This isn’t to say I didn’t appreciate his help. He is the only professional I’ve ever come across that offers a service for free. He had some great points… but he didn’t have the answers.
Maybe, no one does. Maybe some songs just have to play themselves out.
As I walked out into the streets, the sunlight hit my face. A ray of optimism came over me. I hoped today will be a good day.
But if not, there’s always tomorrow.
Only tomorrow knows what today doesn’t. If you give it the chance, tomorrow can bring you what today didn’t.