Despite having this blog, I’m still a very closed person. Everything I say here in honesty is said with the assumption  of a feeling of  safety and ambiguity behind the disguise of an alter ego. In person, as much as I am open, I am also selective.

I know the difference between who I have, want, and need in my life. I encourage everyone to learn to be able to tell this key difference.

The difference isn’t in how I treat these people specifically, but rather how much I share.

Those who I trust and tell about my blog, I hope they see my willingness to admit my weaknesses and fears as a sign of strength. I also know there are others who see weakness, as nothing more than weakness.

A life story is complex and the cover is never a good give away. Even a short blurb will leave out key details. For this reason, it’s a book better left on the shelf than picked up for a short stint. I only tell my story to those who will listen to the whole thing with empathy ,  and judgement aside. Most important next to being  open minded is an ability to relate and connect.

Just recently, I found out some personal information had got out. Things I perhaps said to the wrong people while intoxicated. After all, they say a drunk mind speaks a sober heart.

At first I felt a strong urge to track down the source. Find out who knew what, and explain myself.

A few people may think of me as pathetic, horribly hung up on a past relationship and still wounded. The truth is everything I do and say comes from a good place. I simply want to stay true to the person I was and maintain an open hand to all those who are close or were close to me. I don’t want to run or move on, I want to heal. Overcome fear, hurt and the human ego.

This is when I made the decision that even if people in the wrong category know more about me than I intended, it doesn’t change how much their opinion means to me. I don’t need to explain anything to them as long as I and those closet to me know the truth.

Tags : FriendshiphappinessmindfullnessMotivationPhilosophyself developmentself reflectionself-improvmentspirtualityThought

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