On this screen it looks like an easy equation. But in my head, there is chalk dust, crunched up pieces paper, and deserted rough drafts everywhere. Finding purpose isn’t easy. There is no computerised device to answer the question with definite accuracy, or can you sneak the answers from someone else. It gets lonely too. A feeling similar be being held in detention, watching as the other kids who completed the task at hand play outside, enjoying the sunshine and the feeling of optimism that comes from knowing what you want to do with your life.
I haven’t got the answer yet, but what I needed more than anything, was a break from trying to figure it out. Hence why I was so keen on getting out of the country on the volunteer assignment that I am on.
Here in Tonga, I’ve learned how large and expanding the areas of non-profit, welfare, development etc are. ‘Helping people’ isn’t just something you do on the weekend or between jobs, if it is something you are motivated to pursue and personally find rewarding, then there are endless opportunities. Makes me wonder why I spent a year working in the soul leaching automotive industry. Now I’ve got the awareness, knowledge and what I’d love to call a ‘foot in the door’, I’m determined to stay in the non-commercial / profit industry.
Talents. Hmmm.
I used to find self-praise very difficult. Since recently writing my first ebook, I’ve been grateful to have other people to come forward, and with their help, I’ve been learning to take pride in my accomplishments. While writing my story about my discovery various hobbies & talents, I also had the obvious realisation that while my story doesn’t have the grand ending that a biography of someone famous would have, it still has the very humble beginnings. In addition to hard work, talents take time to prosper and develop.
So this is where I’m up to in solving the puzzle. I’m sorry I can’t provide the answers you’re after, but in all fairness, I’m not asking you for them either. It’s ok not to have the answers, it certainly doesn’t mean a life is void of purpose. For me, my current purpose is to discover my purpose, my interests, my skills, and the opportunities available to use them in a rewarding way. And hopefully, to stop banging my head against my desk so hard.
