“People may not remember exactly what you did, or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
We all know that overly egotistical person. It’s a sad but honest truth, the piece we may play in another person’s lives may only to be to make them feel better about themselves.
I know I’ve been treated this way and it’s not something I or yourself should take personally. It is a fault in their perceptions, values and opinions. Ultimately it is also their loss and I’m writing to explain how.
This is through another truth. Despite any physical, emotional and spiritual connections, we each ultimately experience the world through a commonly sounding, yet unique perspective. Common only through the name of I , myself, me. Unique because there is no other you. In this sense, we really are all alone, together.
To further explain, the things that colour their world may have no vibrancy in yours. Everything you have and go through, just like your sense of identity and self, is like colour, subjective and experienced differently. The blue sparkle in your partner’s eyes that brightens your day, to someone else, may be the same shade of grey as a gloomy day.
Going back to the case of the overly egotistical person. Everything that makes us feel proud, confident, great and accept ourselves, if we are not careful, can be the reason we fail to be accepted, respected and genuinely liked by others. Hence our loss.
It’s all in how you act. Be conscious of it. There is a difference in doing great and being great. The following may help..
- Answer and Question : For every answer you give, ask them the same or another similar question. This should be based on a genuine interest.
- Share Success : It’s not always practical, but you can make your experience add value to the lives of others. Even by thanking them for their contribution, sharing the knowledge you obtained or presenting yourself in a way that offers inspiration.
- Work With Value: Be it through good advice ,security, love, pleasant company or a trade of skills, you should always be aware of what you’re actually offering the other person to improve or add quality to their lives. They should also offer something to you, even if it is only honest appreciation and gratitude.
- Impress Yourself: Understand that it’s your opinion of yourself that matters the most. Find this confidence or acceptance within and you will be more likely to see others as who they are, rather than as a means of validation or as a reminder of who you are. The opinions of others are subjective , they will differ so much, and this is a natural expectation. So don’t waste energy expecting to change them.
- Compete Healthily: Competition is natural and brings out the best in us.However, I don’t feel it should be the foundation of relationships. Common ground should be. Ultimately this means, that regardless if someone is ahead or behind, they don’t feel any less about the other person. If you are enjoying someone’s company more only because you’re ‘ahead’ of them in some way, then it’s time to evaluate your yourself.
