A few weeks ago I wrote about a particular fork in the road – the nearing end of my employment contract. Now I’m once again packing up my life and heading south. I’m moving to Melbourne. Another 900kms from ‘home’ and even further from the person I used to be.
But to be honest, the word ‘home’ is becoming more and more empty. I guess it all started with my decision to spend a year in Tonga. I intended to help out, slam some coconuts and return with some cool stories. But it hasn’t been that simple. Cause a big enough disruption to the ordinary flow of your life and there’s no telling when the ripples will stop unfolding.
First was my move to Sydney. Although upon arrival, I immediately considered turning right around. That’s when my new housemate, in all of his 22 years of wisdom, stated “You can’t resist change.” And it’s true. Even though I arrived under the cold dark weight of Winter – which soon enough became lighter days – what I really long for is long gone. I’m finally accepting that.
So I decided to stick things out; to see somewhere new, try something new, and hopefully become someone new. In short, I’m very glad I stayed. I did some work for a really important service. I’ve developed some deep meaningful relationships and had some great experiences. And I’ve learned a lot about… everything.
Now I’m moving to Melbourne. During a recent visit to Brisbane I got a glimpse of everything I’ve missed out: stability and security, long standing relationships and a real sense of belonging and community. As much as I was happy for everyone, I felt a bit hollow and questioned how my life would be different if I stayed. I felt better when some people applauded my decisions and expressed interest in my experiences.
At the end of the day, there are many many ways to live this thing out. Every door opened leaves just as many shut. Be through either logic, intuition, love, faith, or an excel spreadsheet, it’s up to an individual to decide what’s best for them.
I’ll just end with this quote that has always influenced my life philosophy:
“The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.” – Christopher Mc Candles
See you in the next chapter.