A few thousand dollars, my confidence, a lot of missed social events, the cancellation of my dream holiday to the USA , and probably a few extra hairs than normal. That was the cost of losing my job six months ago.
As the months dragged on and I became more desperate, rather than counting the costs, I aimed to change my outlook by factoring in the possible benefits of my situation into the equation. I felt better.
I thought I would get another normal job, get along better with my co-workers and boss, and get the only thing I wanted at the stage, a stable job that allowed for a developing career.
Enjoyment or fullfillment were no longer part of the criteria. All that I wanted at the least, was something that paid the bills and gave me the chance to earn more to pay bigger ones in the future. Of course I would do my part by keeping my smart a** mouth shut this time around.
At the high points such as in the middle of the night under the stars, or after a workout, or while in the presence of my friends, I dreamed big. This is when I felt my best.
Unfortunately I had just as many times alone at my worst.
In the mornings waking anxiously to face other day of ongoing applications and rejections, I was desperate to taste the smallest of crumbs of security. I even considered packing grocery bags again, something I did for seven years as a teenager, even to tie myself over until the right job came along.
And its more than a job that has come along.
Spending one year working overseas. It’s an opportunity that will ensure my life will never be the same.
Writing this from an hotel lobby in New Zealand. The reception staff wondering why a guest who has a flight to catch to Tonga in a few hours is still awake.
It’s because perspective and insights like this are like shooting stars. If you don’t take them when you are blessed by the chance, they are gone for good.
When you’re doing the emotional math in your head. Trying to figure if a situation is positive or negative, count as high as you can. Dream big.
Or as Les Brown puts it “operate from your imagination, not your past experience”
I won’t have much time to dream tonight. But I got a feeling I’m on the path for them to come true.