For as many times we are asked that question as a child, I had a different response each time. Policeman, ninja turtle, ordinary ninja, or professional soccer player. Now that I am ‘grown up’, my concerns are not that I haven’t become any of those things, but on the contrary, that I don’t want to grow up.

I’m not saying I’ve watched Peter Pan too many times, have a bladder that ‘expresses’ itself at night, or have an avoidance of taking responsibility for myself. I’ve just become more aware of the positive attributes found amongst children, and that I’ve felt slipping from my grip as my hands have grown in size and worn with age.

The endless curiosity ,energy and jest for life. The ability to apply ignorance to every act of mischief in the same way a single coloured crayon applied to a  piece of paper would instantly raise its worth to a feature position on the kitchen fridge.Even eating as much as i could consume without stopping to share. However, this same disregard for others also had its positives, the way it protects a child, covering their ears from the monotone sound of their own self critical voice.

A voice that for me personally, has only gotten louder as I have gotten older. Not only have I pulled down those pieces of paper, I’ve been shy about my other interests simply out of concern of what others may think. The passion for fitness and muscle building which I’m well known for today, was also once no more than a 3kg dumb bell i was intent on keeping as secret hidden under my bed.

Now approaching twenty something. I’ve come to realise that age is no more than a number. Trying to ‘act my age’ is more likely to stress me out and make me look more than my age.  Nature is full of events taking place ‘naturally’ and frowning at a flower until it blooms just takes away from the experience that is unfolding. I know  every expectation that I have added to balance every subtraction from my years of life left, will take place on its own schedule. In the mean time, with a focus on myself, I will remain curious, energetic and with a jest for life  as I do what I enjoy with less concern of what others think. I will also work on sharing when I eat while I’m at it!




Tags : growing uplifephilosphyreflectiveself reflection

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